Sooner or later I will... learn how to fly a plane, live in Europe, become a runner, meet Prince Charming (learn that I'm okay without him), become a reader, like rice, learn to like Bob Dylan, breakout of my comfort zone, just go dancing, paint a masterpiece, stay hidden, sing at the Grand Ole Opry, sing in the shower, completely memorize Psalm 37, write a book, get it published, learn to cook, watch all of Gone with the Wind, finish a marathon, become a morning person, love God, love people. Love hopes all things. Carpe Dium.
A couple years ago when my friend Sara was engaged to be married, she told me one day about her fiance's buddies, and their unfailing attempt to ridicule the couple on their decision to wait to have sex until they were wed. "Would you buy a car before test driving it?" They scoffed.
Here are my thoughts.
If my dad came to me and told me that he had been working on building me a car for a long time... He explains it's a classic with character, it's reliable, it has a great body (oh yeah), and it's the last car I'd ever need. Would I reply with "sorry, dad, I'd like to take your word for it seeing as you've invested tons of care, love and hours into building this car especially for me, but I just can't take it off your hands until I test drive it."? Let it never be.
As a student of college and of life I've observed some disturbing habits I'd like to viciously confront. Why is it that I have the ability to go out into the world, spend a wad of precious bills on fast food, but I can't seem to afford milk? Is there supposed to be some sort of universal checks and balances here, or does this phenomenon send tsunami tides to milkless dorm refrigerators everywhere? Last week I eagerly placed my order of sizzling mozzy sticks and a jamocha shake from that radical roast beef joint we all know and love (although their logo is a bit disturbing), and today I'm eating dry ramen noodles from the bag. Oh rapture. At any rate, until we milkless babes crack the system of low-cost-one-serving-one-person-non-leftover-meals, I have a warm and fuzzy feeling I'll be living on dreams and spaghetti-o's til my next entry.
Usually the parking lot is filled to capacy, some beaten college cars are parked over top diagonal yellow stripes indicating a no parking zone. Dodging sideview mirrors and oncoming vehicles is a must, a mastered skill of survival. On this lonely Thursday, the busy lot was calmed and hushed, and the choices of spaces were almost unlimited. I intentionally eased my way between an old ford and a minivan with pink dice hanging from the mirror. Church bells called to me in the distance a familiar tune. Listening closer, lyrics of a recent life seemed decades far and drowned my ears with beautiful melody. "Take time to be holy, speak often with God, find rest in Him always and feed on His Word." Time slurred as I closed my eyes, leaned my head against my seat. The words spoke truth, but truth that I have chosen not to follow. I haven't been taking time out of my scheduled chaos to focus on my Lord and to become holy. The mere desire to be holy means nothing apart from truly living holiness on purpose. Think holy. Look holy. Pray holy. Sound holy. What worth have these? My holiness has been self-inflicted and accidental--not truly holiness at all. I pray that the Lord gives me grace to not accidentally seem, but to purposefully be holy because He is holy.
God is good.
Wednesday, 17 January 2007
Saturday, 06 January 2007
I got a job! Again! Along with working part-time at the flower shop, I'll be working for the secretary of the art department at school! I'm so excited! WooHoo.
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